Philanthropic Bunnies, Flying Bells, Cats o’ Nine Tails and Murders: Easter’s So Much More Than Just Peeps

“Hey, it is almost Easter, isn’t it? Do Japanese people celebrate Easter?”

What a completely daft question I think to myself. A country full of Buddhist temples and Shinto shrines – why the devil would any sane (and most likely, fairly secular) Japanese person celebrate Easter. And then it is pointed out to me that as the Japanese do fully embrace the birthday of Jesus Christ and a holiday named after the Christian martyr Valentine, then why should they not revel in the resurrection of Jesus? However, Easter is one holiday that the Japanese chose to pass over – no candy, no bunnies, no fake plastic grass- shockingly no commercialism at all. Perhaps there was something distasteful to them about a bearded, scraggly man in white returning to life after being horrifically nailed to hunks of wood. Or maybe the very notion of a tyrannosaurus-rex-sized mental rabbit running amok distributing beans of sugar just did not appeal to them.

Little do the Japanese know that they are missing out on grand and fascinating celebrations all over the world. If the idea of a large, animated American rabbit is that repellent, they could fashion their celebration after the Australians, who, celebrate the Easter bilby – a marsupial bandicoot—in lieu of a rabbit, which they consider to be a disgusting, filthy nuisance. Nocturnal-chocolate-bilby-burrowers line the shelves of Australian stores, attempting to replace the once revered bunny. Now, while the bilby has the advantage of being an exotic animal endowed with a pocket in which to store teeth-decaying delights, one can’t help but marvel at a male rabbit that can apparently defeat the laws of nature, lay eggs and then has the stamina to deliver them all over the west.

Taking into account the hot, little washcloths that are distributed at every meal, and the toilet seat wipes and cleanser dispensers that can be found in every woman’s bathroom that is (happily) not a squatter, one may understand why the Japanese would not be keen on any sort of rodent, marsupial or not, handling confectionary goodies to be distributed to their country’s children. If this be the case then let them turn to the French tradition. Instead of having a happy, fuzzy critter visit their children, instead they await a large metallic bell, which swings into France all the way from Rome to scatter sweets to the greedy, salivating little mouths below. This seems a tradition not completely thought out as the bell lacks any limbs with which to scatter the sweets, nor a pocket or a pouch in which to keep them. But I suppose a flying bell is just as believable as a male rabbit that lays eggs, hides them and then travels several continents.

Indecisive Belgium enjoys the best of both worlds, celebrating an Easter Bunny who travels the country with the giant Bell of Rome. In my mind’s eye I imagine a springy looking bunny perched gallantly on a massive looking tarnished brass bell clutching a basket of classic yellow and pink Peeps in his large, fuzzy paws as the bell flies helter-skelter over the rooftops.

If neither a bell nor a burrowing, whiskered mammal of sorts quite does it for them, the Japanese could turn to the slightly more morbid traditions of Scandinavia. In Norway for example, as families sit around painting eggs, admiring the snow and skiing, they also indulge themselves in murder mysteries – whether on TV or in printed format. Murder plots are broadcast all over and families are riveted trying to figure out whodunit. For a few days the country is full of excited budding Encyclopedia Browns and Sherlock Holmeses. Murder plots are plastered on milk cartons inviting children eating their breakfast herring, reindeer and moose to solve it before they head off to school in their snowshoes.

If still the Japanese cannot be satisfied with Clue-like drama, fuzzy baby creatures of spring, or even just a good excuse to eat chocolate, there is a tradition in central European countries such as the Czech Republic, Hungary and Slovakia that I wager might be more to the liking of some of those Tokyoite businessmen out there. On that holiday Monday a grand tradition of whipping has somehow come about to celebrate Easter. Customarily, males spank females in the morning with willow rods one or two meters long, gaily decorated with brightly colored ribbons. This beating is supposed to bring health and beauty to the inflicted. I would like to think the Easter tradition of eating hot cross buns (har har) in the UK stems somewhat from this central European tradition. It is not unusual for the female to give thanks to her attacker in the form of a colored egg or money. Thanks can also come in the form of a bucket of cold water which may be poured over the unaware male the next day.

Therefore, there is an Easter tradition for everyone and Japan has no excuse for letting this one slip.

A belated Happy Easter to all (and a Happy Birthday to Aris)!

Depending on where you are, I hope the Easter Bunny was generous, the cast-iron Bell kind, the murders challenging and the floggings severe.

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Published:
4.8.07 / 7pm
Category:
culture, unschoolish