“Yes We’re Going To A Brewery. No, You Can’t Have A Beer, Don’t Be Daft!”

Life deals everyone a certain lot and I suppose you get what you deserve, but I can’t help but feel sorry for the first and second year students sometimes. They really do get the shaft when it comes to school field trips.

They are embarking upon another thrilling adventure today. They are visiting several different places—a few of which could not be explained to me. However, I was able to grasp that they are visiting a Panasonic company building, a Coke A Cola warehouse, and the Asahi Brewery Factory.

“You’re taking a bunch of high school kids to a BREWERY? Are you mental?” Of course this is a loose translation of what I said, taking into account how much in Japanese is simply inferred and the ability of Japanese people to mind read. Literally, translated verbatim, I believe what flew out of my mouth was, “…really?” accompanied by a look of disbelief.

“Well, they’re going, but just to look, not to drink any beer,” says the teacher. She laughs nervously.

What a tease. You take a bunch of sixteen-year-olds to a place where BEER is made. You allow them to breathe in the aroma. You allow them to watch line upon line of tantalizing cans waltz before them on the conveyer belt doing the dance of the Dry Asahi Brew and then you carefully tear up all their vouchers which guarantee them a free drink after that electrifying tour involving grain and fermentation as they look on with tears in their eyes. How very cruel.

Imagine taking a group of sixteen-year-old Irish school children to the Guinness factory. Imagine telling them they were going to watch a painfully long process explaining the wonders of barley. Then promptly, they will be sent home their throats parched. After removing their feet, which they have lodged so far up your ass that their toes are tickling your epiglottis, you’d probably reconsider the destination.

Perhaps the first and second year students can buy souvenirs at the gift shop to hang on their cellphone: most likely a wee little business man with cheeks the color of Hester Prynne’s A, with his tie undone and his pants falling off.

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Published:
6.14.07 / 12pm
Category:
amusing incidents, what i call life