Unroll That Red, Diamond Encrusted Carpet…

… start collecting rose petals to toss now. Dust off my throne. Take off your gloves. Ready the gilded chariot. Collect my purple toga from the dry cleaners. Prepare to kiss my hand and, of course, engage in a bit of conversation if I’m willing. My ticket is booked and I will be making my triumphant return to my beloved New York City. As of July 24th I will be back in civilized society for a good three weeks.

I intend to use this time wisely: creating new memories that I can plaster on my lonely walls in Japan to trick visitors into thinking I have a social life, soaking up every little bit of downtown Manhattan, checking out the new Greek and Roman exhibit at the MET (Takers? Takers? No? Alright, but you’ll be sorry later), as Japanese country museums nudge me towards my pyromaniatic side, and enjoying NOT being prodded with a stick and asked my cup size from day to day. If any of you didn’t hastily delete my American keitai… er.. cellphone number from your speed dials – well use it freely, I’ll have it on me. And be prepared to have dreadful conversations with me as I will use terminology you don’t understand, talk about teenagers you couldn’t care less about, make foreign EHHHH sounds when surprised, make constant banal conversation about how ungodly hot it is just to fill the silence and, above all, refuse to eat any sort of Japanese food.

Man Alive, I can’t wait to see you all.

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Published:
6.20.07 / 8am
Category:
what i call life, travel