Let’s Date With Me!

Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I happened to be at a visiting school that day, probably the most academic out of three that I go to. The kids don’t chuck rubber balls at the teacher, hide their teaching materials, call them ugly and smelly (at least to my knowledge), steal my candy, or sexually harass the ALT… mostly. A teacher approached me to talk about the day’s lesson. She has nothing planned and told me I could do “anything.”

As it was seasonally appropriate, I decided to have the kids do an exercise suggested to me by the lovely Wendy. The kids were to write a “Love Love Story.” As Japanese high school students don’t seem to care about anything except for the sordid relationships going on within the school, whether or not the ALT is betrothed and only seem to be able to properly spell the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” I decided to give it a shot. The teacher looked dubious at first, thinking that her students wouldn’t be able to do it, but we gave it a go.

The assignment was to include THREE specific words (which were taken from their daily textbook) and to include them in their own story. The words were as follows: convenient, satisfied and let.

I was proud of them. After a bit of hemming and hawing they were (mostly) able to produce something. Here were the results:

    The Schizophrenic Worrywart


I made a chocolate for boyfriend.
But, I don’t make a chocolate. (AND THEN I DID. WAIT NO I DIDN’T. NO, YES I DID. OH GOD. I’M CONFUSED.)
So, I went to supearmarket. (They specialize in fruits.)
There bought to give him chocolate.
She thought supermarkets are very convenient! (Indeed they are. Except in Japan which has an entire aisle dedicated to mayonnaise - the antithesis of convenient in my opinion.)
Next day, she gave a chocolate for boyfriend.
He was very satisfied. (Easy bloke. )
She said, let me hear your candid opinion.
He said, I love you! (*furiously takes notes* it’s that easy, eh?)

    Romance Over A Book


When I was convenient dictionary borrow fall in love. (Ah to be a convenient dictionary.)
And she was smile satisfied.
By the way it was broken. (Giving out broken dictionaries? Useless. Dump her.)
But he was it let. END.

    The Essence of Being A Japanese Student: The Cellphone


Today is Valentine’s Day!
I called him on my cellphone. Cellphone is convenient.
And. (AND????? AND?????!)

    Let’s Date With Me


I didn’t have money.
I couldn’t buy chocolate for boyfriend
I went to conbini to borrow money.
I satisfied conbini is convenient (Hence its stemming from the phrase convenience store. )
I present chocolate to boyfriend
Let’s date with me.
“OK.” (Sounds like the strong silent type. )

    The Oxymoronic Students.


It was the best valentine’s day ever.
I shunneding love.

    … And Scene.


I met her in fall powdery for the first time. She said

    Convenient Man Cuckolded?


He was a convenient man.
She is satisfied with his economic power. (Meet Joe Millionaire.)
He gave her a car, a house, a jewelry, money, dog for her. (Greedy wench.)
She let him do her homework. (Well now, she’s got it MADE.)

Two years after…
She is tired of him.
And they broke up. (Ouch. She found a new homework bitch?)

I wrote one too, but quite frankly some of theirs are better.

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Published:
2.21.08 / 9pm
Category:
classroom antics, amusing incidents, what i call life